A Smooth Camper Drop-off

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Taking a daughter to camp, especially the very first time, can be as exciting and worrying for the parent as it is for the camper.  The key to a successful drop off on the first day of camp is to ensure both your and your child's needs are met in the transition. For your child, she needs to integrate with her peers and make a connection to camp life so she has a focal point other than the goodbye.  Whether your child is clingy or independent, you need to balance giving her space and support to make that camp connection. Your child can sense if you are distressed about leaving her, so it's also important for you to assure yourself that your child is in good hands.  

A few tips for balancing your needs and your child's needs on the first day of camp:

• Meet her counselors— learn their names

• Meet any cabinmates who are around

• Introduce yourself to other parents—this gives your daughter time to connect with her peers on her own

• Help your daughter arrange a few items—maybe a photo she has brought from home, a jacket or laundry bag hung up. This setting up is truly more for the parent than the child. A parent wants to visualize her daughter’s space. For a camper, setting up is just a transitional pause before merging into camp life.

• Well run camps will have transitional activities for the arriving campers whether they head directly to a meal, an activity or gather for a craft. And a counselor who is well trained will create a transition.  When she does, take your cue and depart with a quick goodbye.

• Leave a card and small gift—a book, card game, activity book—for her on her bunk as a surprise when she returns to her cabin.

• Smile as you depart—you want your daughter to think of you as happy that she’s at camp

Our Comfort Zone

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The trunk is pack and loaded into the back of the car with a few stuffed animals perched on top. You’re driving on I-95 north to take your daughter to summer camp for the first time. Your daughter has been sitting quietly in the back seat; she didn’t eat any breakfast, so you know the butterflies are increasing. Yours too. You’re proud that you haven’t teared up in front of her yet. Then you hear the lyrics on the radio, “That’s my daughter in the water every time she fell I caught her. Every time she fell.” The tears fill your eyes; you blink them back so you can keep driving as a lump forms in your throat, and change the station.

Taking a child to camp for the first time is a huge transition—and not just for the child who will be making choices on a daily basis without parental input. Summer camp is also a significant transition for a parent. For many parents, having a child attend summer camp is outside of their comfort zones. You will miss chatting with him at breakfast, playing hopscotch in the driveway, tucking her in at night. Acknowledge your feelings with someone who shares your parenting values; someone who also appreciates the friendships, confidence and life skills that can blossom in a summer camp experience. As parents we need to reach outside of our comfort zones at times to make the world a better place, to live life to the fullest, to do our best as parents.

Recognizing that taking your daughter to camp is as momentous for you as for her, is important. You can help her by being positive and realistic. It’s okay to let your camper know that you will miss her, but you also need to reassure her that you will be fine while she’s at camp. Once you get your child settled at camp and you are back home, take time to let your rush of emotions envelop you. Call a friend who has camper children and share your turbulent feelings of change. Go for a run and talk out loud. Summer camp is a major transition for the camper and her parent, one that can have a positive impact for both of you as well as your relationship with one another for years to come.  What worked for you after taking your child to camp for the first time?

Tips for a Sucessful Camp Drop Off

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Taking a daughter to camp, especially the very first time, can be as exciting and worrying for the parent as it is for the camper. The key to a successful drop off on the first day of camp is to ensure both your and your child's needs are met in the transition. For your child, she needs to integrate with her peers and make a connection to camp life so she has a focal point other than the goodbye. Whether your child is clingy or independent, you need to balance giving her space and support to make that camp connection. Your child can sense if you are distressed about leaving her, so it's also important for you to assure yourself that your child is in good hands. 

A few tips for balancing your needs and your child's needs on the first day of camp:

• Meet her counselors— learn their names.

• Meet any cabin-mates who are around. 

• Introduce yourself to other parents—this gives your daughter time to connect with her peers on her own.

• Help your daughter arrange a few items—maybe a photo she has brought from home, a jacket or laundry bag hung up. This setting up is truly more for the parent than the child. A parent wants to visualize her daughter’s space. For a camper, setting up is just a transitional pause before merging into camp life.

• Well run camps will have transitional activities for the arriving campers whether they head directly to a meal, an activity or gather for a craft. When it’s time for her to integrate into the flow, let her go. No need to fuss over how the pillow is arranged on her bed or whether her flashlight in conveniently located.

• Leave a card and small gift—a book, card game, activity book—for her on her bunk as a surprise when she returns to her cabin. 

• Say goodbye quickly, don’t linger. Once you have said goodbye, it is time for you to leave.

• Smile as you depart—you want your daughter to think of you as happy that she’s at camp.

Taking a Daughter to Camp

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Preparing for my daughter’s summer at camp was easy; meeting the reality of a good-bye was exceedingly difficult. I wanted a bear hug and “I’ll miss you Mama.” She wanted a quick hug and a kiss and a chance to melt into the new found group of girls.

It seemed the snow bank was still knee high at the end of our driveway the day she began packing her trunk. Each afternoon after completing her homework, she’d ask, “Can I go up and pack now?” The first several times she asked, I quizzically responded, “But your trunk is packed.” “Not the new underwear you bought me,” she’d reply. Or, “I have a newly sharpened pencil to pack.” And so it went for an entire month of anticipation. Each day pulling everything out and rearranging the entire contents as the newly acquired item always seemed to need to be packed on the bottom of the trunk.

The day before we were to drop her off, she became very quiet. Perhaps the reality was beginning to settle on her. By lunch the day we drove to camp, her vocabulary had diminished to “No thank you” and “I’m not hungry.” I made her favorite meal for lunch— she managed to eek one noodle from her fork to her mouth before uttering, “I’m not hungry.” The butterflies were gathering.

When we got to camp the first stop was a check in with the nurse. The nurse, being friendly, asked what my daughter was looking forward to doing at camp this summer. “Making a friend,” was her quiet reply. Tears filled my eyes; this would certainly be a difficult good-bye. Would she make a friend? Would she be happy? Would her counselor put her covers back on when they fell off at night?

At her cabin she selected her bunk without any fuss and although I wanted to help her unpack and get settled, she simply wanted to change into her uniform and head to the playground with 2 other girls in her cabin. I worried when she only put one blanket on her bed (it gets cold in Maine at night!). I wanted to arrange the photos that she had brought from home and hang up her laundry bag and bathing suits and towel. She quickly changed, selecting footwear to match her cabin mates and headed out as a camper. We followed, her sister and father and I, and although we were close behind we watched her move farther and farther from us, finding her own way, understanding the need to belong and looking for a way to belong. 

How did your drop off go?  Who had the most difficult time saying good-bye?