Pickup Day Patience

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Pickup day is around the corner.  Moms, dads and grandparents are eagerly anticipating watching their camper running enthusiastically toward their outstretched arms, jumping up in a big monkey hug and exclaiming, “Yay! You’re here! I have so much to tell you about camp!” 

Those parents and grandparents need a more realistic view of pickup day before they are disappointed in the lackluster greeting that may await.  I have seen campers barely acknowledge their parents’ presence, let along offer a greeting, when pickup day arrives.

Campers are immersed in their own world, a world that for many children is not meant to intersect with their family or hometown friends or any other external touchstones.  Camp is theirs and seeing their parents at camp may be jarring at best.

While some campers do greet their parents with a hug and a smile, many walk up warily, may not make eye contact and seem to forget all their manners as parents nudge them to say “thank you” to their counselors.  Some even break into tears as they realize their summer surrounded by camp friends for 24 hours a day is coming to a close.

So what’s a parent to do?  

First, acknowledge that your presence as a parent may be discomfiting to your child.  As thrilled as you are to see your child, try to keep your excitement under wraps if you recognize that your enthusiasm is not being returned. 

Second, her lack of attention to you is likely a reflection of her attachment to her camp friends, not her diminished love for her parents.  Let her acknowledge your presence in her own time and in her own way. 

Third, restrain from peppering your child with questions as you load up the car.  Give him a chance to say his own good-byes while you distract yourself talking with the camp director or other parents or packing the car.   

Fourth, while good manners should not be overlooked, now may not be the best time to reprimand your child for not making eye contact or greeting his younger brother with a hug. 

Finally, be patient.  There will be plenty of time, perhaps on a long drive home down the east coast, to hear her stories.  You have ten months before she heads back to camp— plenty of time to converse about her summer on the lake.

Welcome Home Gifts

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Summer camps are finishing up their fun-filled summers. How do you welcome your camper home? Here are a few gifts you can give to help him or her readjust to non-camp living.

1. Space 

Sure they have been living cot to cot, maybe 50 campers sharing one bathroom and well over a hundred in the dining hall, yet somehow close quarters doesn’t translate well to family living.

2. Time 

You may have been anxiously waiting 7 weeks for their return, but your camper may well be on a totally different time scale. Don’t expect instant re-engagement in family life—give him time. Going from 24 hour camp interaction to hanging out with mom and dad and little brother is abrupt.

3. Unfettered Internet Access 

“What?!” you may be thinking, “she just spent the better part of a summer separated from technology and you’re advocating that she plug right back in?!” If she had access prior to camp she’s going to want to post her camp photos and yes, check in with the camp friends she just said good-bye to all of two hours ago.

 4. Movie Out 

Most campers don’t get out to movies during the summer, so there are likely several showing that he would like to see before school is back in session. Let him pick what to see for a family night out.

5. Chauffeur 

 An alternative to heading to a movie as a family, you can offer to drive her with friends to a movie, the beach or an amusement park. Many of the other parents may be chauffeured out by August, so step up and stay quiet behind the steering wheel.

6. Magazine 

Pick up a copy of People or Us or some other weekly magazine for your camper to flip through without too much thought. Potentially gives you a visual on your camper as he may sit nearby as he mindlessly flips pages. Gives your camper both time and space, see above.

7. Book 

For more avid readers have a new book waiting as an option to give her both time and space.

8. Favorite Dinner or Dessert 

While the food at camp may have been delicious, it’s unlikely the cook knew exactly how to prepare her favorite pasta, brownie raspberry sundaes or peach pancakes. Now is a great time to cook up a few favorites.

9. Frame 

Most photos are retained digitally these days, but it can be fun to have a favorite summer memory on her dresser or bedside table. Find a summer or friend-themed frame to have waiting for her and then let her chose a summer photo for you to print.

Preserving Camp Memories

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As the days shorten, think about encouraging your camper to collect photos and mementos from camp to put together in a scrapbook. The first step is uploading the photos from the camera to the computer! The longer the photos stay on the camera, the greater the risk they will be lost.

Once the photos are available there are a myriad of options to choose from both on-line and in multi-format scrapbooks.

1. Online service providers including MobileMe (for Mac users), Picasa Web Albums, Shutterfly.com and many others that provide free formats for online photo albums that can be shared.
2. Online retailers including MobileMe, Shutterfly.com, myphotoalbum.com that produce soft and hard bound books in addition to online photo albums.
3. A scrapbook into which photos and other mementos can be affixed
4. Photos sleeves put into a 3 ring binder and filled with photos

The quickest to produce and share with friends are free, on-line web albums. The privacy of the online album can be set so you can select who can view it and even supply a password for viewing.

If you want an album in your bookshelf or sitting out to page through, then most of the online albums can easily be transformed into a hardbound album. The cost for these albums range depending on the number of pages and whether the book is soft or hard bound. A typical hard bound book generally starts at $30, but there are often promotions be run be different sites so it is worth waiting for a discount before ordering.

Hard bound photo albums take more time to create which can be a fun project for a cold, rainy weekend. Make sure you purchase acid free supplies (album, paper, glue, stickers) to ensure the photos won’t deteriorate excessively. Hard bound albums also can more easily accommodate non-digital mementos such as a ribbon won or a cabin list.

And for the traditionalist, there are always photo sleeves. Photo sleeves are 3 hole punched format plastic sleeves that can hold 4 or 6 4x6 photos. These can be purchased at stores like Walmart, Target and Staples. Slip them into a 3 ring binder and you have a very quick and easy hardbound photo book.

Regardless of the format chosen, have your camper write down names of cabinmates, counselors, places, and other names to accompany the photos. If he or she is really inspired, your camper may want to write a few short memories of specific camp events— the final baseball game, the 4 day camping trip, cooking s’mores for the first time.

What suggestions do you have for preserving camp memories?

A Trunk Organized Now is Hours Saved Next Summer!

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Update your trunk list now!

Now is the time to update your trunk list for next summer. Forget to put in sunscreen? Did every other camper have address labels but yours? Were none of those green socks worn? Update your camper’s trunk list now and you will give yourself a break next summer when you get ready to pack again.

First, hopefully you have the list on your computer. If not, now is a good time to start one. As your camper unpacks her trunk, listen to what she wishes she had and look at what was never used. Sure some items like a raincoat may not have been used this summer, but clearly should be included next summer regardless. But if the 100 roll of postage stamps you sent returned home nearly intact, just all gummed up, maybe you only need to send a couple dozen next summer—or just put them on the envelopes in advance.

Update the packing list AND add a note so you’ll remember that you have already updated the list. Wash and neatly fold any camp uniforms and return them to the trunk for storage if they aren’t worn during the winter. But take out of the trunk any lotions including sunscreen, shampoo, soap or anything that could leak or scent the entire contents of the trunk. If you leave the flashlight in the trunk remove the batteries. If you leave envelopes in the trunk be sure not to leave the trunk where it’s humid.

Next June when you open the trunk to pack for summer camp again, you’ll be glad that you left it cleaned out and organized.

End of Camp Transitions

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The day to pick up your daughter from camp has finally arrived! You wake up early, getting ready to go like it’s your first day of school, finding the car keys and hitting the road in time to arrive precisely at 9 am. You can’t keep the smile off your face as you eagerly anticipate the big hug when you see her, all the stories she will want to share, and getting ready for your family vacation together. So when you step out of your car at camp and she’s nowhere in sight you’re a bit let down, but not too much, she probably just needed to run back to her cabin for a forgotten towel. Looking around you see clumps of girls, a few smiles, a lot of tears, lots of cameras and group hugs as other parents load up their cars with trunks and sleeping bags and the accumulations of a summer at camp. Ah ha! You spot her coming through the pines arm in arm with another girl, laughing together! You wave to her, she spots you and immediately her laughter stops, her shoulders slump and she says something quietly to her friend. Are those tears you see building in her eyes? Tears of joy at seeing you? Likely not if she has enjoyed her time at camp.

If your daughter has spent previous happy summers at camp, then you likely recognize bits and pieces of this scenario as they have played out in your life on camp pick up day. We all hope our children find companionship, independence and confidence in their lives. Yet we still sigh as we watch our children achieving these milestones without us.

Balancing your need for interaction with your daughter’s need for transition is not easy. Here are some suggestions I have received from camp parents over the years.

• Give her space and time to say her good-byes, but don’t prolong the parting. Just as when you dropped her off, better not to linger excessively
• Let her stay quiet in the car, play her favorite radio station and don’t try to start a conversation
• Have a new magazine or two waiting at home for her
• Have a few outings in mind, but let her have several days at home before departing for a family vacation. This is helpful not only because she needs the downtime, but also because her immune system may have gone into overload the last few days at camp with little sleep and high stress. So give her time to recharge
• Similarly, no need to have the hair cut, orthodontist appointment and eye exam all on the day she returns from camp
• Other than the wet towels and bathing suits which may mildew in her trunk, give her the time and space to unpack as she’s ready
• Have meals at home— perhaps make her favorite dinner or dessert

• Have lots of fresh fruit on hand—a variety of fresh fruit isn’t always available at camp
• Let her sleep!
• Ask her to join you and her siblings in a card game or other game she enjoys, but don’t pester her if she chooses to pass
• Listen to the stories she wants to share rather than trying to guide the conversation to the questions you want answered

Given the time and space she needs to transition she will return to her place in the family—perhaps with more confidence, new skills and greater cooperation.

If you have picked up a daughter from camp, what has worked well in your family getting ready for pick up or in the first few days home?