Heading to Camp, Need Transition Advice

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Summer camp is in full swing for many campers, and a whole lot more are beginning to feel the trepidation of heading to camp in the next week.  If you need a few tips to help you from now through opening day drop-off read on.

Enjoy your time with your camper this week! 

Play card games, share a craft, sit and cuddle.  You are both headed for a transition.  Children absorb the anxiety that parents radiate, so try to maintain your own sense of calm and confidence.  As you hang out with your camper, listen to the questions and concerns she may have.  Let her know it’s natural to feel nervous, but reinforce the confidence you have in her to meet new friends and immerse herself in camp.  

Many camps have websites with photos from the summer so far. Look at the photos together and share what she may be thinking.

Remain positive.  

If your camper is experiencing anxiety over homesickness from last year, acknowledge his anxiety. Reassure your child that each summer brings new opportunities and new faces.  There will be campers who have never been to camp before and your returning camper can help those campers learn the ropes at camp. Share a few strategies with your child to manage a difficult situation, whether it may be using pull-ups at bedtime or needing a nightlight or being nervous about not knowing how to swim.  Encourage your camper to talk with her counselor if she has a concern— the counselors are enthusiastic and supportive role models and caregivers for your camper.

Pack Light.  

Campers' days are filled with activities, and often their free time is playing a game of roots and rocks or other made-up games that don’t need any equipment. Save a few goodies, like a madlibs or a craft project to send to him in a care package while he is at camp.  Keep the trunk light and clutter-free.

Say Good-bye Cheerfully.

When you take your daughter to camp and are ready to say good-bye, look her in the eye and with a big smile tell her you will see her soon and are looking forward to hearing all about her time at camp.  Counselors are trained to scoop up campers and introduce them to camp. A book or an upbeat card left on her bed can be a fun surprise for her when she returns to her cabin.  

Turn around and walk to your car, don’t let him see you cry.  You are giving your camper an incredible gift.  It is usually much harder for the parent to leave a child at camp than it is for the child to get into the camping routine.

If you have any last minute concerns, check in with your camp directors.  Let your child make her own way in the precious present.

Managing a Tumult of Emotions

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Spring is moving toward summer.  The branches are budding, tulips are blooming and first time and experienced campers are turning their thoughts to the summer.  Excited?  Maybe.  Nervous?  Undoubtably.  And the campers are equally excited and nervous!  Seriously, campers, counselors, staff and parents all likely to be feeling some measure of excitement mixed with nerves.  Consequently your home may have erupted in a tumult of emotions.  

Especially for first time campers, the reality of heading away to sleep-away camp looms larger and larger with each passing day.  Here are a few suggestions for guiding your child toward a positive first time overnight camp experience.

1. Give your child the opportunity to speak up and you to listen

Perhaps he wants to tell you about the dream he had about camp last night.  Try to build in a few extra minutes in the morning to let him relate his feelings.  Or maybe someone at school told her that going away to summer camp is crazy— “that sounds so scary!”  Share an afternoon snack together and hear what she has to say about what she is feeling.

2. Look at photos on the camp web site

Nearly every camp has a website with a plethora of photos from summers past.  Sit down with your child and go through the photos, taking the time to hear his reactions and questions.

3. Select a trunk

Many campers pack there belongings in a trunk for the summer.  If you don’t already have one, now is a good time to find one.  Here are a few tips on finding a suitable trunk.  

4. Be honest

Feeling nervous, scared and excited are all emotions that both new and returning campers are feeling right about now.  Acknowledge her emotions and let her know that what she is feeling is normal— kids all over are feeling very similar emotions as they too look towards summer camp.  If she asks, "What if I want to come home," here are a few responses to have in your pocket.

5. Carve out time to prepare for camp 

Set aside time when the two of you can prepare for camp together.  Maybe you’ll take a trip to buy toiletries, or make a letter writing kit, or fill out his camp forms. Focus on an activity that will both help him prepare for camp mentally as well as give him a chance to talk about what he is thinking.  Whatever you choose make it a parent-child event. 

Letter Writing Kit: ideal pre-camp project

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Our physical mailboxes have become somewhat archaic, but at summer camp mail time can be an event unto itself.  Assembling a camp writing kit opens up a chance to talk about what your child is feeling about going to overnight camp and as a bonus creates a stepping stone to a successful transition.

Together search for the following:

1. A writing box or writing folder— a shoe box works well, or a colorful folder with pockets. Either can be decorated, which often becomes a project unto itself.


2. Writing paper — if you are channeling Martha Stewart you can make your own, but you may well have plenty of odds and ends of notecards and writing paper already on hand.  Gather them together and let your child select the ones she wants to take.  Help her pre-fold the paper to fit the envelopes. 


3. Stamps — take a trip to the post office and let him pick out the stamp design.  Or go online where you can still buy the Disney Pixar collection.  If she will be writing family and friends outside of the country, remember to buy international stamps.  Now mailing a standard international letter or a postcard from the United States costs $1.15 regardless of destination country.


4. Addresses — who does she want to write from camp? Who does he know that will write back?  You may want to select an aunt or uncle or teacher who is likely to return his correspondence, especially if he will be away for 2 weeks or longer.

I find pre-addressed envelopes invaluable for 7, 8 and 9 year old campers, and pre-printed labels valuable for just about everyone at camp— including the camp director!  If you’re working on your child’s penmanship then she can write out the envelope addresses for herself, but otherwise, print out the addresses on labels or directly on the envelopes.

In any case, have the addresses written out before heading to camp.  When a child has worked carefully on writing a lengthy missive of her morning and then the rest bell rings, she is unlikely to take the time to address the envelope before jumping into her bathing suit and running down to the lake.  So if you are looking forward to receiving her letters in your mailbox rather than when you open her trunk in August, you will benefit by pre-addressing the envelopes.


5. Pencils with erasers and a sharpener — if your child is used to writing in pen then include pens, but often students use pencils exclusively for writing at school.  Including colored pencils gives her the option of decorating her letters as well— sometimes pictures are more expressive than words.  And I haven’t seen a cabin yet with a built-in pencil sharpener.  So if you think he’ll write more than two letters, it’s a good idea to include one.

Carve out some time with your child this weekend, and together assemble a summer camp writing kit.  You may be surprised what gets communicated before the letter writing has even begun.

Time for Trunks!

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Baseball opening day coincides with opening trunks to prepare for summer overnight camp.  Now that spring training is well underway it’s time to locate your camp trunk.

Don’t have a trunk yet?  No worries— here are the basics for purchasing and alternatives to purchasing a trunk whether you are headed to Minnesota, Maine or Michigan.

For campers who spend more than 2 weeks at overnight camp, the most common container for packing is a camp trunk.  It’s strong, reasonably good for organization, able to double as a card table for a game of Peon and has provided many campers over the years a way to reach the cabin rafters.  If your child is likely to continue as a camper, then it’s probably worth investing in a trunk.  

Trunk considerations when purchasing

Strength

Look for one that is strong— trunks take all sorts of abuse not the least of which is in shipping.  From the time a trunk is packed until it returns late in the summer, it’s likely to encounter a plethora of immovable objects.  

The strength of the trunk is probably the primary characteristic in the price of a trunk.  Well-made trunks will cost more.  Sadly the converse is not always true, so ask for brand name recommendations from your camp.  Have a brand you recommend?  Add a comment to this blog.

Height

Most camps have standard height bunks and often campers store their trunks under the bunk. Find out the bunk height and trunk height before making your purchase.

Shelf or tray

Nearly all trunks come with a shelf or tray, which allows for great organization at camp whether as a place to keep socks and underwear or writing supplies.

Wheels

Wheels are a nice, but definitely not necessary option.  They are helpful when rolling a trunk in and out of an SUV, but apart from that, rolling a trunk across the ground from a car to a cabin is a very bumpy event— most camp trunks get carried to and from cabins, ideally by campers and counselors.

Handles

Handles seem to be the most often forgotten feature in camp trunks these days.  Having hauled many different trunks from office to cabin, I have lifted only a few where the handle didn’t bite into my hand or cause the trunk to twist uncomfortably.  As stated above, you can hope that your camper or his counselors will be carrying the trunk to the cabin.  If you do find a trunk with comfortable carrying handles pass the word on!

Alternatives to purchasing a trunk

With all of the airline restrictions in luggage, campers who are flying to camp often ship their belongings separately from their own travel.  

Some camps offer options for campers with long journeys. Check with your camp about the following two possibilities:

1. Renting or borrowing a trunk from camp for the summer.  This way a camper can pack in duffles or suitcases and transfer his or her belongings upon arrival.
2. Storing your camper’s trunk at camp over the winter.  Some camp store empty trunks for the winter, so belongings can be taken to and from camp in suitcases or other luggage more suitable to traveling by plane.  In addition, your camper, if organized, can leave summer-only items like flashlights, stationary, bedside photos or even a camp blanket in the trunk for the winter.

Top 5 Benefits of Camp

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The snow may be piling up, but the days are lengthening— Think Camp!  Why camp?  Because overnight summer camp provides the foundation for many character elements we want to instill in our children.

Here are my top five benefits of summer camp:

Independence.  When a child needs to take care of the basics from addressing and stamping her own letters home to refilling the cornbread platter or changing out of her bathing suit and even (gasp!) hanging it up to dry, she is shaping her independence.  Independence is a skill that is vital to success throughout life and great preparation for that day in the distant future when she heads off to college.

Self-confidence.  Every day at camp a camper has the opportunity to try myriad pursuits whether holding the tiller of a sailboat for the first time or trying a new dive or leading a camp song by the campfire or feeding a goat.  Trying a new pursuit and working diligently to become proficient are the foundations of how we each build self-confidence.  Summer camp is a playground of new opportunities where every camper can try something new.

Precious present.  In a world of electronics and hustle and bustle we all need time to slow down and be immersed in the precious present.  Summer camp is a place to reconnect with the precious present as you hold a frog gently in your hands and watch it watch you.

Positive role models.  Most summer camps pride themselves on the care their staff bestows upon each and every camper.  Year after year young men and women return to summer camps to make positive connections with their campers.  One may help an eight year old perfect his baseball

swing. Another laughs with her campers heading to morning dip.  A third invites a quiet child to join in a game of spud.  Many sit quietly with campers by the water’s edge to watch the sunset.  We all need mentors and summer camps are filled with positive role models every child should have.  Plus according to this New York Times blog camp counselors can out-parent parents.

Camaraderie. How many times have I heard a former camper reflect nostalgically on camp saying, “I could be myself at camp, no pretenses like at school.”  Campers return summer after summer for the camaraderie they find among friends who accept them for who they are. 

Here are views from a few other folks who know something about camp and kids:

• American Camp Association
• PBS Kids

What are the benefits you see your child receiving at summer camp?

Pack These in Your Trunk

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As a camp counselor there are a few items I consistently notice are missing from camper’s trunks when they arrive at camp.  Whether your child is going away for a week or seven weeks, the following essentials will likely be as valuable to you as to your child’s camping experience.

Laundry Bag: Your young child, whether daughter or son, is unlikely to care whether she or he wears the same underwear, socks and shorts every day.  And without a laundry bag, one of two events will likely occur. Either she is neat and every night she will return her clothes to her trunk and pull them out again the next day resulting in returning home with a trunk full of clean, unworn clothes which makes laundry a breeze, but may not be the outcome you desired.  

Alternatively, she is the not too meticulous with her belongings and her clothing will be scattered across the cabin floor and under her cot where she may pick it up to put it back on in the morning or the errant sock or shirt will drift into the cabin trash or another trunk as it gets pushed beneath her neighbors bunk.  Again, you won’t have much laundry to do upon her return home, but then again you won’t have many of her clothes either. 

A laundry bag is indispensible in helping to avoid both of these outcomes.  Hang it up near her cot, and hopefully most of her dirty clothing will find its way into the bag rather than back into her trunk or under her neighbor’s cot.  A laundry bag is certainly no guarantee that she will find clean socks each morning or return with most of her clothing, but it will certainly raise the odds.

No laundry bag on hand?  Threading a shoelace through the hem of an old pillowcase can make a simple one.

Pre-addressed and stamped envelopes: This is a second item that may be more valuable for you than for your child.  Even a child with clear handwriting can run out of time addressing the neatly penned letter he just wrote during rest hour.  Once the bugle blows your camper is more likely to run down to the lake for a dip than to stop and address and stamp a letter.  And even if he does try to quickly address the envelope, it’s pretty easy to leave off the zip code when in a hurry, or forget that postage to Grandma in Alberta is more than Uncle Herb in Arkansas. 

Closed-Toed Water Shoes: Many camps disallow flip-flops as they lead to lots of stub toes and lost toenails when running around camp.  Yet having footwear to quickly throw on when your camper is heading to the pool is essential to maximize her time in the water.  So along with a sturdy pair of sneakers, find some closed-toed water shoes that also have some type of heel strap.  

While you don’t have to spend a great deal to purchase footwear, remember that ill-fitting water shoes—especially plastic shoes—can quickly lead to blisters and cuts as they are worn without socks.  Find a pair that is comfortable and quick to slip on.

Water Bottle: Whether he is heading out on a hike or just likes to have water by his bunk at night, a water bottle is exceedingly convenient.  Most reusable water bottles aren’t the easiest to keep clean, so you might want to take a few minutes showing him how to rinse it out between uses and remind him to pour out old water before refilling it fresh.

Overlooked Items to Pack for Camp

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T shirts, check. Jeans, check. Sweatshirt, check. Books to read, check. Remembering the top of mind items to pack in the trunk is fairly straightforward. It’s the camp necessities that we rarely, if ever, use at home that are easier to forget.

Here is a short list of essentials for all overnight campers, whether you are heading off for one week or seven. While most of the items, if not all, are on the packing list your camp sends out, these are the items I most often see forgotten.

• Laundry bag—even if laundry won’t be done while your camper is at camp, it’s helpful to have a separate place to throw dirty clothes other than under the cot. 
• Sneakers, or to some Tennis Shoes—if your camper will be on a tennis court at all then ensure she has appropriate footwear. At home she may wear sandals everywhere, but at camp she will need sneakers around camp and sometimes court shoes for the tennis courts. 
• Water bottle—often you can purchase one with the camp logo, but having a water bottle is handy whether your son is planning on joining in on hikes or just wants to have water next to his bed at night. 
• Pre-addressed envelopes—not only does having address labels increase the chances that your child will write you (or his cousin, grandfather, little sister), but it GREATLY increases the odds that the address will be sufficiently legible to make it through the postal system. 
• Headlamp—juggling toothbrush, toothpaste and a flashlight isn’t easy. Get a headlamp in addition to or in place of a flashlight. 
• Sunscreen and bug spray that your child can apply. If you have a young child then it’s easier to apply stick-based sunscreen on her face, rather than lotion.

Visiting Summer Camp

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August is a great time to visit summer camps in Maine—visit in the next few weeks and you are likely to find the camps full of campers immersed in activities, working for honors, and playing in the water with friends. While a winter camp fair is a good place to ask the camp director lots of questions about camp (see Questions to Ask), a summer tour is more about gaining an appreciation for the pulse of the camp. Is this a place where your child would thrive in the summer?

A few tips to get the most out of your visits:

• Call ahead to let the director know you are coming. She or he will most likely be able to set aside some time to show you around or have another staff member show you camp.
• Bring your child with you!
• Ask when the best time is to visit. Right after lunch may fit your schedule best, but you may find that lunchtime at camp is later or the campers are at rest. You will likely get to know the camp best when the campers are engaged in activities.
• Find out if there is a weekly campfire or other gathering on the day you are visiting. There may be other parents who will be around camp at the same time who may be able to answer some of your questions as a parent.
• Find out if the camp has each family tour camp together or offers prospective campers a chance to interact with current campers without their parents. If so, talk to your child in advance so she isn’t surprised by the separation.
• While the staff likely is very happy to answer your questions, take the time to simply get the feeling of camp—is the energy level what you are looking for, do the campers look happy, are the variety of activities ones your child may be interested in trying?
• Finally, while summer camp can certainly help build lifelong friendships and skills, this isn’t a college tour and your child may be a bit overwhelmed to approach campers and strike up a conversation. Let your child simply absorb the place; selecting a summer camp is a decision that a parent can make.

Our Comfort Zone

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The trunk is pack and loaded into the back of the car with a few stuffed animals perched on top. You’re driving on I-95 north to take your daughter to summer camp for the first time. Your daughter has been sitting quietly in the back seat; she didn’t eat any breakfast, so you know the butterflies are increasing. Yours too. You’re proud that you haven’t teared up in front of her yet. Then you hear the lyrics on the radio, “That’s my daughter in the water every time she fell I caught her. Every time she fell.” The tears fill your eyes; you blink them back so you can keep driving as a lump forms in your throat, and change the station.

Taking a child to camp for the first time is a huge transition—and not just for the child who will be making choices on a daily basis without parental input. Summer camp is also a significant transition for a parent. For many parents, having a child attend summer camp is outside of their comfort zones. You will miss chatting with him at breakfast, playing hopscotch in the driveway, tucking her in at night. Acknowledge your feelings with someone who shares your parenting values; someone who also appreciates the friendships, confidence and life skills that can blossom in a summer camp experience. As parents we need to reach outside of our comfort zones at times to make the world a better place, to live life to the fullest, to do our best as parents.

Recognizing that taking your daughter to camp is as momentous for you as for her, is important. You can help her by being positive and realistic. It’s okay to let your camper know that you will miss her, but you also need to reassure her that you will be fine while she’s at camp. Once you get your child settled at camp and you are back home, take time to let your rush of emotions envelop you. Call a friend who has camper children and share your turbulent feelings of change. Go for a run and talk out loud. Summer camp is a major transition for the camper and her parent, one that can have a positive impact for both of you as well as your relationship with one another for years to come.  What worked for you after taking your child to camp for the first time?

How to Calm Pre-Camp Jitters

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So the weather is turning warmer. Way back in the cold, short days of winter, living on a lake with 100 other girls, playing, laughing, swimming, boating sounded fabulous. Now that the end of school is nearing, the reality of heading off to sleep away camp is starting to materialize. Jitters and nervousness are to be expected—both for the camper and his or her parents.

Here are a few suggestions on how to respond when you hear “Mommy, what if I don’t like it and I want to come home?”

You want be able to swoop in and pick her up and make her feel better. But that may not be the best option for your child.

It is important to respond honestly to your child. Many camps have specific policies that channel all phone calls to the camp directors rather than having a parent call a child directly. Calling your child can heighten his homesickness, and make a complete and happy transition to camp life more difficult.  Along with suggestions the camp directors give you on how they deal with jitters, here are some ways to calm your child’s concerns.

• Visit the camp before you drop your child off. If camp is in session before your child starts, then stop by the camp several weeks in advance, take a tour and give your child a chance to meet some of the staff and current campers. Being familiar with her surroundings will make her transition when she comes to stay easier.
  

• Assure your child that on the day you take him to camp, you will find an adult whom your camper can go to if he is feeling sad or homesick. Then be certain to follow through. Knowing that his parent will find at least one adult as a confidante can be reassuring.
  

• Make a list with your child of activities she can do when she’s feeling sad. Together sit down and talk through when she may feel sad and what she can do. Perhaps it will be at bedtime when she is used to having you tuck her in. Or maybe it’s first thing in the morning when she needs someone to help her decide whether to put on a sweatshirt. Having strategies will help her feel more confident and more able to cope with homesickness. You may put activities on the list such as writing you a letter, exploring with a friend, reading a favorite book, talking to a counselor.

Above all, ensure you are honest with your child. Certainly if it were a dire situation you would go pick him up from camp. But in the normal course of events, including homesickness, your child is much more likely to adapt if you give him the time and space to make a complete transition. So if you don’t intend on picking him up after one night then don’t tell him “just call and I’ll come get you honey.” Tell him how much you love him, how wonderful it is that he is trying something new, that it is normal to feel nervous and there are many strategies to help him adjust to his camp life. Let her know that you look forward to receiving her letters and she can certainly write how she is feeling—she can tell you when she feels sad and she can tell you about when she laughed and the people she has met.