4 Questions to Help You Assess: Is My Child Old Enough for Summer Camp?

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Parents often wonder if their children are old enough to go to a sleep-away camp. Beyond the obvious “it depends” consider these situations I’ve seen.

• Two girls first attended camp for 3 1/2 weeks as 6-year olds, and returned to camp enthusiastically for many years.
• A 7-year old came for a week and was exceedingly homesick.  She returned 2 years later and flourished.
• A 6-year old camper was not at all homesick, but wasn’t able to participate in a large group setting where she needed to follow rules.  She returned at age 8 and enjoyed an outstanding summer.
• An 11-year old came to camp for the very first time for seven weeks. She appeared timid when she arrived, yet after one week in a cabin she wholeheartedly embraced all aspects of camp and thoroughly enjoyed camp.
• An 8-year old came to camp knowing only minimal English.  The girl was homesick the first two nights, but otherwise smiled broadly, made friends and her English improved dramatically.

The success of each camper was less age-dependent and more aligned with the child’s independence, his or her ability to participate in a group and the signals a parent sent to his or her child.

Mull over these four questions as you consider if your child is ready for summer camp:

1. Has your child successfully completed a sleepover away from home?
2. Can your child participate in a group without having attention focused solely on him and his needs?  Camp is a place where everyone takes turns clearing the dining table, each camper helps keep the cabin neat, swimming is only allowed at designated times and other group norms are necessary.
3. Can your child be reasonably quiet for an extended rest time and after taps?
4. Are you as a parent comfortable supporting your child and letting her try out her own wings without your constant vigilance?

These aren’t meant to be yes or no questions, as each can be enhanced just by being at camp.  But if your child has gone to several sleepovers and each time the host parent has called at 11 p.m. for you to pick up your son, he may not yet be ready for camp.  Or if your child is 6 or 7 and hasn’t yet learned how to participate as a member of a group, then you may want to wait a year before you register her.

On the other hand, a child doesn’t need to be pleading to go to summer camp.  A timid child may enthusiastically embrace camp. 

A family who offers positive encouragement and a child who is able to learn how to cooperate in a group is ready for the gift of sleep-away summer camp.

Pickup Day Patience

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Pickup day is around the corner.  Moms, dads and grandparents are eagerly anticipating watching their camper running enthusiastically toward their outstretched arms, jumping up in a big monkey hug and exclaiming, “Yay! You’re here! I have so much to tell you about camp!” 

Those parents and grandparents need a more realistic view of pickup day before they are disappointed in the lackluster greeting that may await.  I have seen campers barely acknowledge their parents’ presence, let along offer a greeting, when pickup day arrives.

Campers are immersed in their own world, a world that for many children is not meant to intersect with their family or hometown friends or any other external touchstones.  Camp is theirs and seeing their parents at camp may be jarring at best.

While some campers do greet their parents with a hug and a smile, many walk up warily, may not make eye contact and seem to forget all their manners as parents nudge them to say “thank you” to their counselors.  Some even break into tears as they realize their summer surrounded by camp friends for 24 hours a day is coming to a close.

So what’s a parent to do?  

First, acknowledge that your presence as a parent may be discomfiting to your child.  As thrilled as you are to see your child, try to keep your excitement under wraps if you recognize that your enthusiasm is not being returned. 

Second, her lack of attention to you is likely a reflection of her attachment to her camp friends, not her diminished love for her parents.  Let her acknowledge your presence in her own time and in her own way. 

Third, restrain from peppering your child with questions as you load up the car.  Give him a chance to say his own good-byes while you distract yourself talking with the camp director or other parents or packing the car.   

Fourth, while good manners should not be overlooked, now may not be the best time to reprimand your child for not making eye contact or greeting his younger brother with a hug. 

Finally, be patient.  There will be plenty of time, perhaps on a long drive home down the east coast, to hear her stories.  You have ten months before she heads back to camp— plenty of time to converse about her summer on the lake.

Fun Summer Camp Packages

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One of the great benefits of summer camp is living clutter-free. Yet there is great happiness at mail time seeing your name is on the package list.  So when you put together a care package for your camper this summer, keep in mind that receiving a package often is more exciting than any specific contents could possibly be.  One creatively-decorated package with a few camp-friendly items is great treat for your summer camper.


Here are some ideas to include in an easy, fun package:

• A book.  Perhaps the next book in a favorite series or a joke book for sharing with cabin mates.
• A sticker to add to her trunk if she has one. 
• Notecards.  Find fun ones made for campers and add some small stickers so he can decorate the cards himself.
• A craft.  Choose wisely.  Crafts that work best have few parts and no paint.  
• Speaking of crafts... if your camper enjoys making friendship bracelets then a few more spools of thread in bright colors are always welcome.
• A deck of cards.  Cards are a great cabin pastime and a new, full deck may be just what the cabin needs after playing 100 rounds of Peon and bending a few too many cards.
• Water bottle.  It's been a wonderfully warm summer in many states, so if your camper doesn't already have a water bottle on hand, he would likely appreciate one.

And some tips when mailing your package:

• Check out regional rate boxes from the US Post Office for mailing your packages.  If your camper attends a camp within a state or two from home, then these rates are a great value.
• The box or envelope is part of the package so decorate the shipping container too!  Get out your indelible markers and a box of stickers and be a child again as you decorate.
• Have fun packaging up what's in the box.  Put sticky notes on each item with knock-knock jokes or wrap the items up in colorful pages from recycled magazines.
• Verify any do's and don'ts from your camp.  Most camps do not allow food to be sent to campers for a multitude of sound reasons, not the least of which is helping your child have a healthy summer.  So check if there are any items that cannot be sent.

The whole experience makes receiving a package fun at summer camp.  Also check out Writing Your Summer Camper .

First Day Of Camp Preview

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What’s the first day of camp like?  Fun, bewildering, emotional, tumultuous, exhilarating, stressful, fabulous.  Whether you’re returning for your 10th summer or arriving for your first, you are likely to be feeling a swirl of emotions.

Help minimize your camper's anxiety by talking through what she or he can expect on the first day of camp.  Many camps may have some or all of the following activities as campers arrive on opening day, also check you camp website to see what arrival may be like.

Counselor Greeting— as you arrive at camp whether in your parent’s car, a camp bus, or a van from the airport, there are likely to be counselors enthusiastically welcoming your arrival.  Counselors arrive days before the campers to help get camp ready and they are so excited to greet you and get to know you!

Health Check-in— most camps have newly arriving campers visit the camp nurse as they arrive to ensure all of your medical forms are in order and to answer any medical questions parents or campers may have.

Cabin Settling — camps have a variety of ways to introduce each camper to his or her cabin and cabin-mates. You will may have a chance to unpack a few belongings around your bunk, maybe hang up your swim towel and put a favorite stuffed animal on your bed.

Quick Goodbyes— if your parents have brought you to camp, there will be time for a quick hug and good-bye before a counselor eagerly takes you to meet other campers and join in first day activities.

Get-to-know-one-another Games — there will likely be games so you have a chance to get to know the names of some of the other campers and counselors and where places are around camp.  Some campers are very nervous that they won’t be able to find the dining hall or get back to their cabin— you needn’t worry— counselors and staff are at camp to help you make the transition and find your way around.

Refreshing Dip — if it’s a hot day your camp may have time for a dip in the lake or the pool.  All camps have important rules about behavior around the water that they will share with you.

All Camp Dinner — in general, the whole camp will gather together for dinner whether in a dining hall or outdoors, a hot meal or a casual supper.  Counselors will help you find your way and ensure you have a place to sit if you’re not certain where to go.

After Dinner Assembly or Campfire — quite often camps have an all camp gathering the first night— maybe the camp will play a game, or learn songs, or have a campfire.  Whatever the tradition at your camp the counselors and staff will be there to help you get to where you need to go and lots of returning campers will help you learn the words to camp songs and other camp traditions.

These represent the general type of activities that many camps have on opening day. Read through the material your camp has provided for details on your camp’s first day activities.

Check out Managing a Tumult of Emotions to encourage your child to talk about her feelings as well as A Smooth Camper Drop-off to help the parents on opening day. 

School Camp Overlap

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The end of the school year is colliding with the beginning of camp. You need to make some decisions about whether to miss the culminating school events or introductory camp days.  What’s a parent to do?

First, there’s no one-size-fits-all solution.  You need to do what works best for your campers.

Some elements to consider:

• Does your child get more stressed by not having closure or is she nervous about late arrivals?
• Is this year a milestone year at either camp or school?
• What would he actually be missing in the final days of school— exams that are his springboard for college applications or a few days of cleaning out desks and lockers?  And what would he actually be missing in the first few days of camp? 
• What are your commitments as a parent during the final days of school for your camper or her siblings?

Take the time to talk through the trade-offs with your child now, so when school ends and camp begins, your camper isn’t overly anxious about the choice that’s been made.  And remind yourself and your child that it is valuable to set priorities and make decisions.  You can’t dance at two weddings with one tush!

Managing a Tumult of Emotions

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Spring is moving toward summer.  The branches are budding, tulips are blooming and first time and experienced campers are turning their thoughts to the summer.  Excited?  Maybe.  Nervous?  Undoubtably.  And the campers are equally excited and nervous!  Seriously, campers, counselors, staff and parents all likely to be feeling some measure of excitement mixed with nerves.  Consequently your home may have erupted in a tumult of emotions.  

Especially for first time campers, the reality of heading away to sleep-away camp looms larger and larger with each passing day.  Here are a few suggestions for guiding your child toward a positive first time overnight camp experience.

1. Give your child the opportunity to speak up and you to listen

Perhaps he wants to tell you about the dream he had about camp last night.  Try to build in a few extra minutes in the morning to let him relate his feelings.  Or maybe someone at school told her that going away to summer camp is crazy— “that sounds so scary!”  Share an afternoon snack together and hear what she has to say about what she is feeling.

2. Look at photos on the camp web site

Nearly every camp has a website with a plethora of photos from summers past.  Sit down with your child and go through the photos, taking the time to hear his reactions and questions.

3. Select a trunk

Many campers pack there belongings in a trunk for the summer.  If you don’t already have one, now is a good time to find one.  Here are a few tips on finding a suitable trunk.  

4. Be honest

Feeling nervous, scared and excited are all emotions that both new and returning campers are feeling right about now.  Acknowledge her emotions and let her know that what she is feeling is normal— kids all over are feeling very similar emotions as they too look towards summer camp.  If she asks, "What if I want to come home," here are a few responses to have in your pocket.

5. Carve out time to prepare for camp 

Set aside time when the two of you can prepare for camp together.  Maybe you’ll take a trip to buy toiletries, or make a letter writing kit, or fill out his camp forms. Focus on an activity that will both help him prepare for camp mentally as well as give him a chance to talk about what he is thinking.  Whatever you choose make it a parent-child event. 

Letter Writing Kit: ideal pre-camp project

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Our physical mailboxes have become somewhat archaic, but at summer camp mail time can be an event unto itself.  Assembling a camp writing kit opens up a chance to talk about what your child is feeling about going to overnight camp and as a bonus creates a stepping stone to a successful transition.

Together search for the following:

1. A writing box or writing folder— a shoe box works well, or a colorful folder with pockets. Either can be decorated, which often becomes a project unto itself.


2. Writing paper — if you are channeling Martha Stewart you can make your own, but you may well have plenty of odds and ends of notecards and writing paper already on hand.  Gather them together and let your child select the ones she wants to take.  Help her pre-fold the paper to fit the envelopes. 


3. Stamps — take a trip to the post office and let him pick out the stamp design.  Or go online where you can still buy the Disney Pixar collection.  If she will be writing family and friends outside of the country, remember to buy international stamps.  Now mailing a standard international letter or a postcard from the United States costs $1.15 regardless of destination country.


4. Addresses — who does she want to write from camp? Who does he know that will write back?  You may want to select an aunt or uncle or teacher who is likely to return his correspondence, especially if he will be away for 2 weeks or longer.

I find pre-addressed envelopes invaluable for 7, 8 and 9 year old campers, and pre-printed labels valuable for just about everyone at camp— including the camp director!  If you’re working on your child’s penmanship then she can write out the envelope addresses for herself, but otherwise, print out the addresses on labels or directly on the envelopes.

In any case, have the addresses written out before heading to camp.  When a child has worked carefully on writing a lengthy missive of her morning and then the rest bell rings, she is unlikely to take the time to address the envelope before jumping into her bathing suit and running down to the lake.  So if you are looking forward to receiving her letters in your mailbox rather than when you open her trunk in August, you will benefit by pre-addressing the envelopes.


5. Pencils with erasers and a sharpener — if your child is used to writing in pen then include pens, but often students use pencils exclusively for writing at school.  Including colored pencils gives her the option of decorating her letters as well— sometimes pictures are more expressive than words.  And I haven’t seen a cabin yet with a built-in pencil sharpener.  So if you think he’ll write more than two letters, it’s a good idea to include one.

Carve out some time with your child this weekend, and together assemble a summer camp writing kit.  You may be surprised what gets communicated before the letter writing has even begun.

Time for Trunks!

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Baseball opening day coincides with opening trunks to prepare for summer overnight camp.  Now that spring training is well underway it’s time to locate your camp trunk.

Don’t have a trunk yet?  No worries— here are the basics for purchasing and alternatives to purchasing a trunk whether you are headed to Minnesota, Maine or Michigan.

For campers who spend more than 2 weeks at overnight camp, the most common container for packing is a camp trunk.  It’s strong, reasonably good for organization, able to double as a card table for a game of Peon and has provided many campers over the years a way to reach the cabin rafters.  If your child is likely to continue as a camper, then it’s probably worth investing in a trunk.  

Trunk considerations when purchasing

Strength

Look for one that is strong— trunks take all sorts of abuse not the least of which is in shipping.  From the time a trunk is packed until it returns late in the summer, it’s likely to encounter a plethora of immovable objects.  

The strength of the trunk is probably the primary characteristic in the price of a trunk.  Well-made trunks will cost more.  Sadly the converse is not always true, so ask for brand name recommendations from your camp.  Have a brand you recommend?  Add a comment to this blog.

Height

Most camps have standard height bunks and often campers store their trunks under the bunk. Find out the bunk height and trunk height before making your purchase.

Shelf or tray

Nearly all trunks come with a shelf or tray, which allows for great organization at camp whether as a place to keep socks and underwear or writing supplies.

Wheels

Wheels are a nice, but definitely not necessary option.  They are helpful when rolling a trunk in and out of an SUV, but apart from that, rolling a trunk across the ground from a car to a cabin is a very bumpy event— most camp trunks get carried to and from cabins, ideally by campers and counselors.

Handles

Handles seem to be the most often forgotten feature in camp trunks these days.  Having hauled many different trunks from office to cabin, I have lifted only a few where the handle didn’t bite into my hand or cause the trunk to twist uncomfortably.  As stated above, you can hope that your camper or his counselors will be carrying the trunk to the cabin.  If you do find a trunk with comfortable carrying handles pass the word on!

Alternatives to purchasing a trunk

With all of the airline restrictions in luggage, campers who are flying to camp often ship their belongings separately from their own travel.  

Some camps offer options for campers with long journeys. Check with your camp about the following two possibilities:

1. Renting or borrowing a trunk from camp for the summer.  This way a camper can pack in duffles or suitcases and transfer his or her belongings upon arrival.
2. Storing your camper’s trunk at camp over the winter.  Some camp store empty trunks for the winter, so belongings can be taken to and from camp in suitcases or other luggage more suitable to traveling by plane.  In addition, your camper, if organized, can leave summer-only items like flashlights, stationary, bedside photos or even a camp blanket in the trunk for the winter.

Top 5 Benefits of Camp

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The snow may be piling up, but the days are lengthening— Think Camp!  Why camp?  Because overnight summer camp provides the foundation for many character elements we want to instill in our children.

Here are my top five benefits of summer camp:

Independence.  When a child needs to take care of the basics from addressing and stamping her own letters home to refilling the cornbread platter or changing out of her bathing suit and even (gasp!) hanging it up to dry, she is shaping her independence.  Independence is a skill that is vital to success throughout life and great preparation for that day in the distant future when she heads off to college.

Self-confidence.  Every day at camp a camper has the opportunity to try myriad pursuits whether holding the tiller of a sailboat for the first time or trying a new dive or leading a camp song by the campfire or feeding a goat.  Trying a new pursuit and working diligently to become proficient are the foundations of how we each build self-confidence.  Summer camp is a playground of new opportunities where every camper can try something new.

Precious present.  In a world of electronics and hustle and bustle we all need time to slow down and be immersed in the precious present.  Summer camp is a place to reconnect with the precious present as you hold a frog gently in your hands and watch it watch you.

Positive role models.  Most summer camps pride themselves on the care their staff bestows upon each and every camper.  Year after year young men and women return to summer camps to make positive connections with their campers.  One may help an eight year old perfect his baseball

swing. Another laughs with her campers heading to morning dip.  A third invites a quiet child to join in a game of spud.  Many sit quietly with campers by the water’s edge to watch the sunset.  We all need mentors and summer camps are filled with positive role models every child should have.  Plus according to this New York Times blog camp counselors can out-parent parents.

Camaraderie. How many times have I heard a former camper reflect nostalgically on camp saying, “I could be myself at camp, no pretenses like at school.”  Campers return summer after summer for the camaraderie they find among friends who accept them for who they are. 

Here are views from a few other folks who know something about camp and kids:

• American Camp Association
• PBS Kids

What are the benefits you see your child receiving at summer camp?

Welcome Home Gifts

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Summer camps are finishing up their fun-filled summers. How do you welcome your camper home? Here are a few gifts you can give to help him or her readjust to non-camp living.

1. Space 

Sure they have been living cot to cot, maybe 50 campers sharing one bathroom and well over a hundred in the dining hall, yet somehow close quarters doesn’t translate well to family living.

2. Time 

You may have been anxiously waiting 7 weeks for their return, but your camper may well be on a totally different time scale. Don’t expect instant re-engagement in family life—give him time. Going from 24 hour camp interaction to hanging out with mom and dad and little brother is abrupt.

3. Unfettered Internet Access 

“What?!” you may be thinking, “she just spent the better part of a summer separated from technology and you’re advocating that she plug right back in?!” If she had access prior to camp she’s going to want to post her camp photos and yes, check in with the camp friends she just said good-bye to all of two hours ago.

 4. Movie Out 

Most campers don’t get out to movies during the summer, so there are likely several showing that he would like to see before school is back in session. Let him pick what to see for a family night out.

5. Chauffeur 

 An alternative to heading to a movie as a family, you can offer to drive her with friends to a movie, the beach or an amusement park. Many of the other parents may be chauffeured out by August, so step up and stay quiet behind the steering wheel.

6. Magazine 

Pick up a copy of People or Us or some other weekly magazine for your camper to flip through without too much thought. Potentially gives you a visual on your camper as he may sit nearby as he mindlessly flips pages. Gives your camper both time and space, see above.

7. Book 

For more avid readers have a new book waiting as an option to give her both time and space.

8. Favorite Dinner or Dessert 

While the food at camp may have been delicious, it’s unlikely the cook knew exactly how to prepare her favorite pasta, brownie raspberry sundaes or peach pancakes. Now is a great time to cook up a few favorites.

9. Frame 

Most photos are retained digitally these days, but it can be fun to have a favorite summer memory on her dresser or bedside table. Find a summer or friend-themed frame to have waiting for her and then let her chose a summer photo for you to print.

Connecting with Camp as the Days Shorten

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October is here and the long lazy days of both last and next summer seem ages away. Yet out of sight doesn’t need to be out of mind for summer camp. Especially for kids who are making a transition to a new home or a new school, maintaining connections with summer camp friends can offer comfort and confidence.

The following are a few ways your child may want to maintain his or her summer camp connections.

Camp websites: Many summer camps keep photos posted from previous summers. Sit with your camper and go through the photos, allowing her to tell you the stories the pictures invoke.

Camp gatherings: Find out if your camp hosts local reunions or visits camp fairs in the fall or winter.

Visit a camp friend: While it may seem like camp friends are scattered far and wide, many may be living in the same state—perhaps only an hour drive away. Help your camper plan a visit for a weekend with a camp friend.

School assignments: Innumerable school assignments are ideal for a camper to reminisce about summer camp. Whether writing a third grade poem on riflery at the camp range or composing a personal essay for a college application, summer camp offers a plethora of topics for completing assignments.

On-line: If your child is old enough to use a facebook account, keeping up with camp friends is easy and immediate. Or simply sending emails can keep a friendship current.

Postal Mail: And every camper is versed in writing letters and sending them via the post office. There’s nothing like finding a personal letter from a camp friend in the mailbox!

How do you keep in touch with camp friends after camp has closed?

Visiting Summer Camp

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August is a great time to visit summer camps in Maine—visit in the next few weeks and you are likely to find the camps full of campers immersed in activities, working for honors, and playing in the water with friends. While a winter camp fair is a good place to ask the camp director lots of questions about camp (see Questions to Ask), a summer tour is more about gaining an appreciation for the pulse of the camp. Is this a place where your child would thrive in the summer?

A few tips to get the most out of your visits:

• Call ahead to let the director know you are coming. She or he will most likely be able to set aside some time to show you around or have another staff member show you camp.
• Bring your child with you!
• Ask when the best time is to visit. Right after lunch may fit your schedule best, but you may find that lunchtime at camp is later or the campers are at rest. You will likely get to know the camp best when the campers are engaged in activities.
• Find out if there is a weekly campfire or other gathering on the day you are visiting. There may be other parents who will be around camp at the same time who may be able to answer some of your questions as a parent.
• Find out if the camp has each family tour camp together or offers prospective campers a chance to interact with current campers without their parents. If so, talk to your child in advance so she isn’t surprised by the separation.
• While the staff likely is very happy to answer your questions, take the time to simply get the feeling of camp—is the energy level what you are looking for, do the campers look happy, are the variety of activities ones your child may be interested in trying?
• Finally, while summer camp can certainly help build lifelong friendships and skills, this isn’t a college tour and your child may be a bit overwhelmed to approach campers and strike up a conversation. Let your child simply absorb the place; selecting a summer camp is a decision that a parent can make.

New Approach to Care Packages

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The campers cluster around the mailboxes, eagerly scanning the newly posted package list. “Yeah I got one!” “Lily you got a package!” “YES!” can be heard as the campers spot their name or a friend’s name on the list. Often simply receiving a package is more important than the contents.

However, having sent numerous care packages over the years, and having covered the basics, I was looking for a new approach to putting together a package. My daughter’s camp discourages sending food and the Mad Libs have come home empty in past summers. My daughter hasn’t even had time to read the books she went to camp with. So what to send?

Rather than heading out to the store, I decided to look around the house to see what I could send.  I opened the junk drawer in my kitchen and peered in. I considered each object in turn:

• Cool pad of paper—check, that could easily be included
• Fun colored pens—pens are always running out, I put them in
• Rocks—okay there are plenty of rocks at camp, leave those in the junk drawer
• Bouncy ball—sure, small, lightweight, fun
• Rubber bands—hmm, not sure that would be so exciting
• An unused skein of gimp—so many uses, sure, I dropped it in the bag
• And way in the back—an old riddle book—paused and read that for a bit. This one had probably been forgotten about and would be enjoyed as if it were new.

I have only just sent the package, so I don’t know yet how well it was received. Guess I’ll just have to wait by my mailbox for a return letter. If you give it a try let us know what you find and how well it was received.

Our Comfort Zone

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The trunk is pack and loaded into the back of the car with a few stuffed animals perched on top. You’re driving on I-95 north to take your daughter to summer camp for the first time. Your daughter has been sitting quietly in the back seat; she didn’t eat any breakfast, so you know the butterflies are increasing. Yours too. You’re proud that you haven’t teared up in front of her yet. Then you hear the lyrics on the radio, “That’s my daughter in the water every time she fell I caught her. Every time she fell.” The tears fill your eyes; you blink them back so you can keep driving as a lump forms in your throat, and change the station.

Taking a child to camp for the first time is a huge transition—and not just for the child who will be making choices on a daily basis without parental input. Summer camp is also a significant transition for a parent. For many parents, having a child attend summer camp is outside of their comfort zones. You will miss chatting with him at breakfast, playing hopscotch in the driveway, tucking her in at night. Acknowledge your feelings with someone who shares your parenting values; someone who also appreciates the friendships, confidence and life skills that can blossom in a summer camp experience. As parents we need to reach outside of our comfort zones at times to make the world a better place, to live life to the fullest, to do our best as parents.

Recognizing that taking your daughter to camp is as momentous for you as for her, is important. You can help her by being positive and realistic. It’s okay to let your camper know that you will miss her, but you also need to reassure her that you will be fine while she’s at camp. Once you get your child settled at camp and you are back home, take time to let your rush of emotions envelop you. Call a friend who has camper children and share your turbulent feelings of change. Go for a run and talk out loud. Summer camp is a major transition for the camper and her parent, one that can have a positive impact for both of you as well as your relationship with one another for years to come.  What worked for you after taking your child to camp for the first time?

Responding to A Sad Letter from Your Camper

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Elation: Opening your mailbox and finding a letter from your camper!
Deflation: Reading the letter and discovering that she’s lonely or homesick or feeling left out.

Receiving a sad letter from your camper is difficult and highly emotional. Often it is best to set the letter aside and think—perhaps even talk out loud with a spouse or a friend before responding. Consider whether the incident or concern is urgent and you need to call the director, or is your camper just experiencing a low because he wasn’t recognized at the weekly camp fire or she still hasn’t learned how to do the back float and everyone else can?

If you feel you need to call the camp director keep in mind that you have only received one side of the story. Be certain to ask for the director’s perspective. For more suggestions on calling the camp director read an earlier post Calling the Camp Director.

If, on the other hand, writing a letter in return is appropriate here are a few guidelines:

• Acknowledge Your Camper’s Feelings 

      What seems like a minor matter to you, is often a much larger issue from the perspective of a 10 year old.

• Stay Constructive 

     “What a jerk he is!” may make you feel better momentarily, but is unlikely to help your camper find a positive resolution. Perhaps you can suggest she talk with her counselor or another adult she is close to at camp.

• Remember that Dealing With Interpersonal Issues is Part of the Camp Experience

     Offering parental guidance in moderation can be helpful. But keep in mind that learning how to deal with non-life threatening situations on her own is part of the value of sending your daughter to camp.

• Be Aware Time Keeps Moving Forward

     From the time the incident occurred and your daughter wrote and mailed the letter, until you received the letter and finally until she receives your response could be up to a week( or more if you’re in Canada and there’s a postal strike!)  In that amount of time any number of personal transgressions may have been resolved. Consequently, dwelling on the topic for an entire sheet of paper may be excessive. Address the issue, let your camper know you care and are here for her, and then move on. Include a funny story from your childhood if that is helpful. Or add a riddle or joke or something light to bring a smile or laugh.

If you stay positive, your child is more likely to internalize your positive outlook and be able to deal with whatever issue may have come and gone by the time your letter is received.

How to Calm Pre-Camp Jitters

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So the weather is turning warmer. Way back in the cold, short days of winter, living on a lake with 100 other girls, playing, laughing, swimming, boating sounded fabulous. Now that the end of school is nearing, the reality of heading off to sleep away camp is starting to materialize. Jitters and nervousness are to be expected—both for the camper and his or her parents.

Here are a few suggestions on how to respond when you hear “Mommy, what if I don’t like it and I want to come home?”

You want be able to swoop in and pick her up and make her feel better. But that may not be the best option for your child.

It is important to respond honestly to your child. Many camps have specific policies that channel all phone calls to the camp directors rather than having a parent call a child directly. Calling your child can heighten his homesickness, and make a complete and happy transition to camp life more difficult.  Along with suggestions the camp directors give you on how they deal with jitters, here are some ways to calm your child’s concerns.

• Visit the camp before you drop your child off. If camp is in session before your child starts, then stop by the camp several weeks in advance, take a tour and give your child a chance to meet some of the staff and current campers. Being familiar with her surroundings will make her transition when she comes to stay easier.
  

• Assure your child that on the day you take him to camp, you will find an adult whom your camper can go to if he is feeling sad or homesick. Then be certain to follow through. Knowing that his parent will find at least one adult as a confidante can be reassuring.
  

• Make a list with your child of activities she can do when she’s feeling sad. Together sit down and talk through when she may feel sad and what she can do. Perhaps it will be at bedtime when she is used to having you tuck her in. Or maybe it’s first thing in the morning when she needs someone to help her decide whether to put on a sweatshirt. Having strategies will help her feel more confident and more able to cope with homesickness. You may put activities on the list such as writing you a letter, exploring with a friend, reading a favorite book, talking to a counselor.

Above all, ensure you are honest with your child. Certainly if it were a dire situation you would go pick him up from camp. But in the normal course of events, including homesickness, your child is much more likely to adapt if you give him the time and space to make a complete transition. So if you don’t intend on picking him up after one night then don’t tell him “just call and I’ll come get you honey.” Tell him how much you love him, how wonderful it is that he is trying something new, that it is normal to feel nervous and there are many strategies to help him adjust to his camp life. Let her know that you look forward to receiving her letters and she can certainly write how she is feeling—she can tell you when she feels sad and she can tell you about when she laughed and the people she has met.

Questions to Ask When Selecting a Summer Camp

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Now is the time to start planning for summer camp.  There are numerous camp fairs in February and March.  Check out http://www.acacamps.org/camp-fairs for a list of fairs throughout the country.   Many camps also host gatherings for current and prospective campers around the country, so check out the web sites of camps you are considering to see what gatherings they have planned.

There are many excellent overnight camps for children that are ACA accredited.  To find the right camp for your child consider both what you and your child are looking for in a summer camp experience as well as camp foundations.  Does your child have a particular interest that he or she wants to pursue—overnight hiking trips, a particular sport, an artistic interest?  How close or far from home are you willing to send your child to camp and for how long?   Are you looking for a girls camp, boys camp or a coed camp?  When evaluating the camp foundations look at the camp values, the staff to camper ratio, the tuition, returning campers and staff.

As you are considering alternative camps for your child be sure to meet the directors of prospective camps and ideally also talk with parents of current campers.  You can learn a lot about a camp from the attitude of current parents.  Following are some questions that may help you get started in a conversation.

For a conversation with camp parents

1.     Why did you send your child to this camp?

2.     Did your child have any transitional issues at camp?

3.     What were the best elements of camp for your child?

4.     What was most difficult for your child at camp?

5.     What did your child learn at camp?

6.     Did your child make any new friends at camp?

For a conversation with camp directors

1.     Are you ACA accredited?

2.     What are the camp values?

3.     How long has the camp been operating and how long have you directed the camp?

4.     What is the staff to camper ratio?

5.     How many campers and staff return year to year?

6.     How long are the camp sessions and how many sessions do most campers attend?

7.     What are your visitation policies for parents?

8.     What activities are offered?

9.     How much choice do the campers have in which activities to pursue?

What else would you want to know about a camp before sending your child?  What do you wish you had known about a camp before you sent your child?

Gift Ideas for Summer Campers

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Looking for a few gift ideas for the summer campers in your life?
Well, look no further. Whether you are finding gifts for your own children, grandchildren, nieces or nephews, you can create a gift and presentation sure to please.

First, consider the activities your child loves most at camp. Is he a sailor? A hiker? A woodworker? A nature enthusiast? Tailor your gift selection to the particular interests of your camper. Here are a few examples.

Hiker:

• New backpack
• Head lamp
• Day pack
• Hiking Guide to the White Mountains, Green Mountains, Appalachian Trail or wherever your camper hikes
• Compass
• Water bottle with camp logo
• Wool socks—not exciting, but necessary

Sailor:

• Sailing gloves—look for fingerless kayaking gloves for a less expensive and equally effective option.
• PFD
• Water-resistant watch with a timer
• Sailing rules book such as Dave Perry’s Understanding the Racing Rules of Sailing

Wood shop enthusiast:

• Swiss Army Knife
• Reference books for carving

Nature Enthusiast:

• Compass
• Pocket Naturalist Guides (animal tracks, night sky, wilderness survival and many more)
• National Geographic Backyard Guide to the Night Sky
• Nature Journal
• Sketch pad and pencils
• Day pack

Kayaker:

• Kayaking gloves
• Spray skirt
• PFD
• Dry bag

Second, encapsulate a camp memory as a gift. For instance, frame a summer photo from camp. Many camps have photos available for download or sale on their websites. Or ask your camper’s friend for a high resolution copy of a fun friends photo from the summer. Make a high quality print and frame it in a friends themed frame from Target, Amazon or your local photo shop.

You can also capture memories in a playlist tailored to camp. If your child’s camp has recorded songs you can start with those, add in traditional camp songs like ‘Titanic’ or ‘Little Green Frog’. Or take a theme like friendship and create a playlist around songs about friends.

Capture a year’s worth of memories in a calendar full of camp photos. Include special dates like opening and closing days for camp, and birthdays of camp friends.

Third, remember to visit your child’s camp website. Many camps sell items with camp logos such as caps, water bottles, journals, and stickers.

Lastly, don’t overlook the gift of a summer at camp. If you send a child to camp you can make a presentation of the ultimate camp gift—you are giving a child the time to be immersed in a new environment, bond with friends, build self-confidence, learn new skills and live life lessons. Create a personalized card to give your child as a reminder of the gift of summer camp, wrap it up and present it with intention.

In the middle of the winter, a reminder of long summer days at camp is an ideal gift for your summer camper. What are your best ideas for gift giving to campers? What would you like to receive as a camper?

Camp Themed Halloween Costumes

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Sure you see it as just the camp uniform—but to your child’s classmates and neighbors it’s an exceptional Halloween costume and exceptionally easy for you.

Simply add a few elements to your child’s camp uniform for a quick, inexpensive and easy to move around in Halloween costume. Shorts may be chilly for trick or treat in northern climes, so start with jeans, camp shirt, ideally with a logo, and a camp jacket or sweatshirt. Add hiking boots and hiking socks for footwear, put on a headlamp (handy when trick or treating in any case) or wear a camp logo cap and carry something that represents your camper’s favorite activity. Your camper can carry a tennis racquet, wear a hiking back pack, hold a length of rope in a coil if she sails, take along a wood craft if he’s a shop fanatic, put on a life jacket, or make other personalizations.

Perhaps your camper’s costume will interest neighbors in considering summer camp for their children. Regardless, the price is right, just open up the trunk and get out what is needed, dress up and head out.

How do you take advantage of the investment you have made in camp uniforms in the off-season?

Preserving Camp Memories

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As the days shorten, think about encouraging your camper to collect photos and mementos from camp to put together in a scrapbook. The first step is uploading the photos from the camera to the computer! The longer the photos stay on the camera, the greater the risk they will be lost.

Once the photos are available there are a myriad of options to choose from both on-line and in multi-format scrapbooks.

1. Online service providers including MobileMe (for Mac users), Picasa Web Albums, Shutterfly.com and many others that provide free formats for online photo albums that can be shared.
2. Online retailers including MobileMe, Shutterfly.com, myphotoalbum.com that produce soft and hard bound books in addition to online photo albums.
3. A scrapbook into which photos and other mementos can be affixed
4. Photos sleeves put into a 3 ring binder and filled with photos

The quickest to produce and share with friends are free, on-line web albums. The privacy of the online album can be set so you can select who can view it and even supply a password for viewing.

If you want an album in your bookshelf or sitting out to page through, then most of the online albums can easily be transformed into a hardbound album. The cost for these albums range depending on the number of pages and whether the book is soft or hard bound. A typical hard bound book generally starts at $30, but there are often promotions be run be different sites so it is worth waiting for a discount before ordering.

Hard bound photo albums take more time to create which can be a fun project for a cold, rainy weekend. Make sure you purchase acid free supplies (album, paper, glue, stickers) to ensure the photos won’t deteriorate excessively. Hard bound albums also can more easily accommodate non-digital mementos such as a ribbon won or a cabin list.

And for the traditionalist, there are always photo sleeves. Photo sleeves are 3 hole punched format plastic sleeves that can hold 4 or 6 4x6 photos. These can be purchased at stores like Walmart, Target and Staples. Slip them into a 3 ring binder and you have a very quick and easy hardbound photo book.

Regardless of the format chosen, have your camper write down names of cabinmates, counselors, places, and other names to accompany the photos. If he or she is really inspired, your camper may want to write a few short memories of specific camp events— the final baseball game, the 4 day camping trip, cooking s’mores for the first time.

What suggestions do you have for preserving camp memories?