Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Pickup Day Patience

Pickup day is around the corner.  Moms, dads and grandparents are eagerly anticipating watching their camper running enthusiastically toward their outstretched arms, jumping up in a big monkey hug and exclaiming, “Yay! You’re here! I have so much to tell you about camp!” 

Those parents and grandparents need a more realistic view of pickup day before they are disappointed in the lackluster greeting that may await.  I have seen campers barely acknowledge their parents’ presence, let along offer a greeting, when pickup day arrives.

Campers are immersed in their own world, a world that for many children is not meant to intersect with their family or hometown friends or any other external touchstones.  Camp is theirs and seeing their parents at camp may be jarring at best.

While some campers do greet their parents with a hug and a smile, many walk up warily, may not make eye contact and seem to forget all their manners as parents nudge them to say “thank you” to their counselors.  Some even break into tears as they realize their summer surrounded by camp friends for 24 hours a day is coming to a close.

So what’s a parent to do?  
First, acknowledge that your presence as a parent may be discomfiting to your child.  As thrilled as you are to see your child, try to keep your excitement under wraps if you recognize that your enthusiasm is not being returned. 
Second, her lack of attention to you is likely a reflection of her attachment to her camp friends, not her diminished love for her parents.  Let her acknowledge your presence in her own time and in her own way. 
Third, restrain from peppering your child with questions as you load up the car.  Give him a chance to say his own good-byes while you distract yourself talking with the camp director or other parents or packing the car.   
Fourth, while good manners should not be overlooked, now may not be the best time to reprimand your child for not making eye contact or greeting his younger brother with a hug. 
Finally, be patient.  There will be plenty of time, perhaps on a long drive home down the east coast, to hear her stories.  You have ten months before she heads back to camp— plenty of time to converse about her summer on the lake.

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