End of Camp Transitions

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The day to pick up your daughter from camp has finally arrived! You wake up early, getting ready to go like it’s your first day of school, finding the car keys and hitting the road in time to arrive precisely at 9 am. You can’t keep the smile off your face as you eagerly anticipate the big hug when you see her, all the stories she will want to share, and getting ready for your family vacation together. So when you step out of your car at camp and she’s nowhere in sight you’re a bit let down, but not too much, she probably just needed to run back to her cabin for a forgotten towel. Looking around you see clumps of girls, a few smiles, a lot of tears, lots of cameras and group hugs as other parents load up their cars with trunks and sleeping bags and the accumulations of a summer at camp. Ah ha! You spot her coming through the pines arm in arm with another girl, laughing together! You wave to her, she spots you and immediately her laughter stops, her shoulders slump and she says something quietly to her friend. Are those tears you see building in her eyes? Tears of joy at seeing you? Likely not if she has enjoyed her time at camp.

If your daughter has spent previous happy summers at camp, then you likely recognize bits and pieces of this scenario as they have played out in your life on camp pick up day. We all hope our children find companionship, independence and confidence in their lives. Yet we still sigh as we watch our children achieving these milestones without us.

Balancing your need for interaction with your daughter’s need for transition is not easy. Here are some suggestions I have received from camp parents over the years.

• Give her space and time to say her good-byes, but don’t prolong the parting. Just as when you dropped her off, better not to linger excessively
• Let her stay quiet in the car, play her favorite radio station and don’t try to start a conversation
• Have a new magazine or two waiting at home for her
• Have a few outings in mind, but let her have several days at home before departing for a family vacation. This is helpful not only because she needs the downtime, but also because her immune system may have gone into overload the last few days at camp with little sleep and high stress. So give her time to recharge
• Similarly, no need to have the hair cut, orthodontist appointment and eye exam all on the day she returns from camp
• Other than the wet towels and bathing suits which may mildew in her trunk, give her the time and space to unpack as she’s ready
• Have meals at home— perhaps make her favorite dinner or dessert

• Have lots of fresh fruit on hand—a variety of fresh fruit isn’t always available at camp
• Let her sleep!
• Ask her to join you and her siblings in a card game or other game she enjoys, but don’t pester her if she chooses to pass
• Listen to the stories she wants to share rather than trying to guide the conversation to the questions you want answered

Given the time and space she needs to transition she will return to her place in the family—perhaps with more confidence, new skills and greater cooperation.

If you have picked up a daughter from camp, what has worked well in your family getting ready for pick up or in the first few days home?