New Approach to Care Packages

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The campers cluster around the mailboxes, eagerly scanning the newly posted package list. “Yeah I got one!” “Lily you got a package!” “YES!” can be heard as the campers spot their name or a friend’s name on the list. Often simply receiving a package is more important than the contents.

However, having sent numerous care packages over the years, and having covered the basics, I was looking for a new approach to putting together a package. My daughter’s camp discourages sending food and the Mad Libs have come home empty in past summers. My daughter hasn’t even had time to read the books she went to camp with. So what to send?

Rather than heading out to the store, I decided to look around the house to see what I could send.  I opened the junk drawer in my kitchen and peered in. I considered each object in turn:

• Cool pad of paper—check, that could easily be included
• Fun colored pens—pens are always running out, I put them in
• Rocks—okay there are plenty of rocks at camp, leave those in the junk drawer
• Bouncy ball—sure, small, lightweight, fun
• Rubber bands—hmm, not sure that would be so exciting
• An unused skein of gimp—so many uses, sure, I dropped it in the bag
• And way in the back—an old riddle book—paused and read that for a bit. This one had probably been forgotten about and would be enjoyed as if it were new.

I have only just sent the package, so I don’t know yet how well it was received. Guess I’ll just have to wait by my mailbox for a return letter. If you give it a try let us know what you find and how well it was received.

Our Comfort Zone

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The trunk is pack and loaded into the back of the car with a few stuffed animals perched on top. You’re driving on I-95 north to take your daughter to summer camp for the first time. Your daughter has been sitting quietly in the back seat; she didn’t eat any breakfast, so you know the butterflies are increasing. Yours too. You’re proud that you haven’t teared up in front of her yet. Then you hear the lyrics on the radio, “That’s my daughter in the water every time she fell I caught her. Every time she fell.” The tears fill your eyes; you blink them back so you can keep driving as a lump forms in your throat, and change the station.

Taking a child to camp for the first time is a huge transition—and not just for the child who will be making choices on a daily basis without parental input. Summer camp is also a significant transition for a parent. For many parents, having a child attend summer camp is outside of their comfort zones. You will miss chatting with him at breakfast, playing hopscotch in the driveway, tucking her in at night. Acknowledge your feelings with someone who shares your parenting values; someone who also appreciates the friendships, confidence and life skills that can blossom in a summer camp experience. As parents we need to reach outside of our comfort zones at times to make the world a better place, to live life to the fullest, to do our best as parents.

Recognizing that taking your daughter to camp is as momentous for you as for her, is important. You can help her by being positive and realistic. It’s okay to let your camper know that you will miss her, but you also need to reassure her that you will be fine while she’s at camp. Once you get your child settled at camp and you are back home, take time to let your rush of emotions envelop you. Call a friend who has camper children and share your turbulent feelings of change. Go for a run and talk out loud. Summer camp is a major transition for the camper and her parent, one that can have a positive impact for both of you as well as your relationship with one another for years to come.  What worked for you after taking your child to camp for the first time?

Responding to A Sad Letter from Your Camper

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Elation: Opening your mailbox and finding a letter from your camper!
Deflation: Reading the letter and discovering that she’s lonely or homesick or feeling left out.

Receiving a sad letter from your camper is difficult and highly emotional. Often it is best to set the letter aside and think—perhaps even talk out loud with a spouse or a friend before responding. Consider whether the incident or concern is urgent and you need to call the director, or is your camper just experiencing a low because he wasn’t recognized at the weekly camp fire or she still hasn’t learned how to do the back float and everyone else can?

If you feel you need to call the camp director keep in mind that you have only received one side of the story. Be certain to ask for the director’s perspective. For more suggestions on calling the camp director read an earlier post Calling the Camp Director.

If, on the other hand, writing a letter in return is appropriate here are a few guidelines:

• Acknowledge Your Camper’s Feelings 

      What seems like a minor matter to you, is often a much larger issue from the perspective of a 10 year old.

• Stay Constructive 

     “What a jerk he is!” may make you feel better momentarily, but is unlikely to help your camper find a positive resolution. Perhaps you can suggest she talk with her counselor or another adult she is close to at camp.

• Remember that Dealing With Interpersonal Issues is Part of the Camp Experience

     Offering parental guidance in moderation can be helpful. But keep in mind that learning how to deal with non-life threatening situations on her own is part of the value of sending your daughter to camp.

• Be Aware Time Keeps Moving Forward

     From the time the incident occurred and your daughter wrote and mailed the letter, until you received the letter and finally until she receives your response could be up to a week( or more if you’re in Canada and there’s a postal strike!)  In that amount of time any number of personal transgressions may have been resolved. Consequently, dwelling on the topic for an entire sheet of paper may be excessive. Address the issue, let your camper know you care and are here for her, and then move on. Include a funny story from your childhood if that is helpful. Or add a riddle or joke or something light to bring a smile or laugh.

If you stay positive, your child is more likely to internalize your positive outlook and be able to deal with whatever issue may have come and gone by the time your letter is received.

Writing Your Camper

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In our high tech world, there are few places where a handwritten, or even typed letter, are so treasured as at summer camp. Following a few guidelines can turn a mundane recounting of your daily routine into a letter that your child may even prize as much as a package. Okay, any letter is unlikely to be elevated to package status, but at least you can create a memorable missive to your summer camper.

Print
Supposedly students are taught to read and write cursive in grade three. Yet in most cases, opening a letter and discovering cursive is about as appealing as being served broccoli for breakfast and likely to be pushed aside just as quickly. For camp letter legibility stick with printing.

Be Colorful
We all like eye candy-- make your letter visually appealing. Use multiple colors of ink, decorate the margins, draw pictures occasionally in place of words. You may even feel like a kid again as you write.

Write Conversationally
You are chatting with your child not writing a memo to your manager. Use playful expressions, interrupt yourself, get off topic, meander.

Topics are Irrelevant
Unless you parachuted from an airplane and landed in a coconut tree on your commute to work, you don't need to recount your daily routine. Tell your child about the dog in the supermarket or how you had to retrieve your car keys from the garbage. You may want to know your child's schedule and every interaction, but he just wants to get a letter and know you are thinking of him. Laughing out loud while reading is a huge bonus, hearing about the traffic on the way to work, not so much.

Stay Positive
Especially if this is your child's first experience away from home, you want to stay upbeat. No need to mention how sad you are without her celebrating the fourth of July with you or how you are counting the days until she is home. It is fine to let her know you love her, but you don't want her worrying how you will manage without her at home.

Jokes, Riddles and Humor
If you are still stuck for what to write, find some jokes, riddles, puzzles or puns to include. Find a host of child-friendly jokes on this website  Try this one for your camper in the summer woods:

Q: What is a mosquito's favorite sport?

A: Skin-diving.

Letters don't need to be long or newsy. They do need to arrive and let your camper know you are thinking of her.